Kudos Mommies

Kudos Mommies!!!

Photographed at Maroon Bells,CO,USA

This post is for all those friends of mine who have embraced motherhood recently and kept asking me about how do I manage to get time to write and follow my hobbies with my baby. Well, I must give this credit to my little princess who allows me to have a lot of “me time” everyday. One more thing that I can’t ignore is my family support. Even though I am living far away from my country, I still had my mom with me followed by my mother-in-law (Thanks to the American Consulate for approving their visas on time!!!!). Both these amazing ladies have helped me a lot through my tough times. One hand it is my mother who is also my best critic and has always helped me to remain on track and that keeps me grounded. She is a perfectionist by nature and an immensely creative woman. A very talented singer and a fine home maker whose standards exceed expectation always. On the other hand it’s my mother-in-law who is a depot of traditional values yet a very witty and an expert homemaker. She has always been there for me, whenever I have needed her. Her intellectuality is evident from her great adaptability and acceptance levels. As an avid reader since her childhood she can easily relate to different levels of diverse psychologies. Therefore, I had the support of these two outstanding women until now. Both these ladies with their superfine instincts managed to keep up with my peevishness at this crucial phase. Their unconditional love for their first granddaughter makes them by far the best babysitters that my baby can ever have.

 Well, apart from using my mother’s and mother-in-law’s expertise, I have relied a lot on baby Center website and kept various parenting magazines handy which has helped me to manage my everyday life with my little one. Couple of things which I have learned reading various sources; and want to share them with everyone, these changes has made life a little easy for me. Certainly, worth giving it a try!!!

DISCIPLINE- We are all used to this word since our childhood but I have started being disciplined only after I have become a mother because that’s exactly when I have started craving for some exclusive time for myself,,, which I call “ME TIME”. The initial 2 months are difficult as your baby is still not adjusted to the outside world and have wired sleep patterns. But thereafter, it’s up to us to streamline their sleeping habits. I put my baby to sleep early in the evening sometimes she takes some extra time but definitely before 9 she is asleep. One should not allow late nights for babies and young children because they are highly adaptable; if you allow once or twice then it tends to become a habit for them. To ensure this, there are a few lifestyle adjustments you yourself will have to make like no late night outings, no dinner parties and restricting late night visitors, etc.  After my baby sleeps I get close to 3 hours of “ME TIME”. So before winding up to bed I get ample time to cook, read or sit with my laptop, etc.

DELEGATE- It’s ok to take help from your partner when it comes to babysitting. I learned this from various journals and websites. Baby’s need to develop some amount of bonding with their Dad’s too. And there are some Daddy’s who really aspire to spend time with their little ones. One thing that I have noticed is when my husband is babysitting he is so occupied that he forgets to peep at his e- mails or read his book, which ensures a complete rest for him too, especially for an IT guy (like my husband) whose survival is at stake without having a pesky electronic gadget nearby. He would happily babysit when I go out for a walk or to the gym or sometimes for shopping to ensure I grab a proper “ME TIME” outside the house. When I have my mother or mother-in-law around, life is easy as I can take a break every day to chill out on my own or with a friend. It’s very important to not become obsessive with your baby; and should trust someone else also with the baby care, especially if you are a stay at home mommy. It’s frustrating otherwise and you tend to find everything around quite nettlesome.

At my current disposition, which is greatly uncertain; I long to get pampered, I long to have someone around, who understands me. I am aware that it’s an unusual state of mind which I sometime get into. Funnily, during my 6 week visit after the baby my doctor asked me to answer a questionnaire and from my answers she concluded that I am having mild postpartum depression. But I strongly denied that and I was right as I never felt depressed, only occasional episodes of mood swing would make me have a woebegone look on my face. This is normal to go through such a state of mind after having a baby. Conclusively, surviving 9 months of pregnancy and making it through the discomposure of labor and delivery; resulting in a sudden and tremendous shift in life, together with a huge hormonal surge culminates in a tumultuous state of being for a woman. I am sure my friends who have delivered recently would completely agree with me.

This phase is short-lived and it’s important to make it the most meaningful and memorable period of life. So, ask for help from your partner and family members, get good amount of rest and enjoy every bit of the new life which has emerged out of you. The little miracle lying next to you is precious and deserves to have a Joyful, Smart and Shinning mother and not an Exhausted, Wearied and Fatigued one.

Langsyne Dimapur

As one of the small towns of North Eastern India, Dimapur’s location and geography makes it quite insignificant in the huge map of Indian subcontinent. Yet, for me this word itself brings nostalgia, reminds me my childhood and those people whom I have loved most in my life.

 Indeed, I have a great connection to this small town of North East, Not only me and my sister but even my mother was also born in Dimapur and later, I found my husband also to be born in Dimapur. That itself makes this place a very special one for my family.

 Further, my family’s contribution to its soil can’t be undermined by anyone; my father-in-law (Sri. S.R.Chakarabarty); who has served Nagaland Govt. all his life and worked as a very senior official in Nagaland State Transport (NST). My grandfather (Late Sri. Manik Bhattacharjee) has been one of the most famous social workers of Nagaland who was one of the founders of the first regional political party of Nagaland (NPC) in 70s and 80s, also he was the founder of many educational institutions in Dimapur. My Father (Sri. Niharendu Bhattacharjee) had his life’s first posting after joining SBI to Dimapur and served a crucial 10 years there; later, he served as a chairman of NRB (Nagaland Rural Bank) for 3 years. My maternal uncle (Sri. Manoj Bhattacharjee) an educationist who started his career as a lecturer of Zoology in Dimapur Science College. Currently, he is serving as the Principal of one of the most prominent Higher Secondary Schools of Dimapur (Pranab Vidyapith) which was founded by my grandfather in 1984. With his vast qualification he had lots of career opportunities in big cities outside Dimapur, but he chose to remain there and serve the people of his birth place. There are many other close relatives both from my family and my extended family who have worked all their lives in Dimapur. Therefore, my solid connection with Dimapur is unquestionable and makes me a Dimapurian by heart.

Growing up in Dimapur was very safe and therefore loads of fun unlike growing up in any big Indian metro city; which is increasingly unsafe especially for a girl. Growing up I have never heard of any cases of female Abduction, Molestation and Eve teasing, etc. I regularly accompanied my grandfather when he was visiting his Naga friends, colleagues and party workers. I clearly remember Mr. Vamojo, Mr. Chale KBchusa and Mr.Vijol Angami among many others who often visited my grandfather. Simplicity and True Christian values make Naga people very adorable for sure.

Eventually, I left Dimapur because of my Dad’s posting elsewhere and started hearing about the unwanted changes and prevailing disturbances in the society which was making lot of people to migrate. Obviously, this was a very disturbing scenario which made me very sad and concerned.

Currently, I live in a small town near Denver in USA with my husband and a 4 month old daughter and keep wondering how come this country is so developed. Where I live now is also a very small town like Dimapur but if I start telling the difference then the list will never end. Even Naga society is considerably western and follows Christianity like the American population here. Well, If Religion is making the difference then all the Christian states should have been most developed in India but sadly it’s the other way round most of the time. Therefore, we can safely conclude that it’s not the religion that matters, its humanity and the broader outlook towards life and society. Here, I would like to mention a small incident that has happened with me and my husband, here in America and this partially answers why this place is so developed.

It was the eve of Independence Day celebration on 4^th of July, only a couple of weeks after I delivered my baby. I wanted to go out to witness the one of its kind celebration near the Castle Rocks County in West of Denver. Left my baby at home with my mother, both I and my husband Sudarshan went out after a long time together wanting to spend some time with each other and enjoy the celebration. Everything was perfect that evening including the lovely climate and the wonderful fireworks for celebration.

Things suddenly went haywire when we heard a big bang from the road where we had parked the car. And to our surprise; it was OUR car which was hit by another SUV, completely smashing the cars bumper and the rear end. My husband did not know how to react, as we had never been to this situation and that too in a completely alien country. We were awestruck and our brains completely shut down; finally, it was the first time in both our lives when we bought an expensive car like Toyota Camry and we loved our car so much.

Immediately before we could call for any help, we saw many local people who came our way and told us that “we have seen the entire incident happening and it was purely a case of hit and run, and don’t hesitate to call us if you need any witness”. One very tall gentleman who was also enjoying the fireworks from the patio of his house from across the street came instantly and told us that he saw the SUV which hit our car and it was unethical to hit and run. He should have stopped and looked for any damages that were caused by the impact.

He took his cell phone out and called the police, informed about the accident and repeated the entire story. He waited till the police arrived and became our spokesperson. The Lady police officer apologized to us and in a very humble manner she spoke to my husband keeping in mind that we are foreigners in her nation and this incident certainly makes a wrong impression of her country and its people. She took an FIR and documented the statements given by the eye witnesses who noted the car number. She left the scene assuring us that Police would find out the culprit and that all the damages caused to us will be paid by the insurance company of the SUV driver. That tall gentle man stood by us till the entire procedure was over and gave us his phone number saying “please don’t hesitate to contact should you need any help”. He was with us on the street for around 3 hours till 11.30 at night until everything was over. I and my husband extended our thanks and gratitude towards him when he said…” Well I did not do it for you… Being a true Christian it’s my duty to help people in need and stand by the truth,,, which I did… It’s for my God!!!” His words were so refreshing and unbelievable. We were amazed at that man who stood by us and helped us when we were so much in need.

Subsequently, the very next morning we got a call from the police officer informing us the details of the driver’s insurance. Without any further follow ups from our end, within the next one week we got the entire price of our car in cash as the damages could not be fully recovered. Eventually, we bought a bigger and a much better car, which was a dream come true for us. This was because all the people and the department’s involved (Police department, Car Insurance Company, people who did the evaluation of our car) did their jobs on time and efficiently to make this possible for us. Can we imagine this in our own country?                                                                                                            

 SHASWATI

Change is for Good.

Christina Baldwin had said “Change is the only constant in life, the signal for rebirth and the egg of Phoenix”.   Change should be for good , change should be positive and should bring lots of sunshine in your life.  Well, for me this is amazing when I think what I was exactly one year back, a very busy research executive, a wife who does not have any time for her husband or home. Typically, my day would start with an early morning bath, a quick breakfast and a 10 km drive through a huge riot of traffic signals to reach office on time. After spending a hectic day at work would head back home, the same way, cutting through the traffic jams and keep worrying if my cook would turn on time or if my domestic help will show up. When I am at home, I am either waiting for my cook or for my domestic help. That’s how I passed all the 5 days of a week and weekend will be busier with friends and family gatherings, with occasional visitors and guests. The only word that perfectly describes my life one year back is “Pandemonium”. Today when I look back I feel how ungraceful I was and how my life has taken a complete 360 degree turn.

Sometime last year my husband got his transfer to Denver in United State of America. There came a great escape from the busy buzzing city life of Bangalore. Life here is peaceful and serene like a flowing stream. I have got ample time for myself, my baby and for pursuing my hobbies. My husband calls me an ‘Island’. He says I am unsocial and love to remain alone. But after that hectic life of Bangalore who would not love to become an ‘Island’. It’s like going to Himalayas and meditating…… a complete self-realization and attaining salvation.

Today I am a mother of a 4 month old baby girl. My life entirely revolves around her. I left my job 15 days before giving birth and life since then is so happening that I am completely in love with it. I have time to paint ( which has been my hobby since my childhood), cook a complete meal for my husband and family, I love cleaning my house and decorating it to an extent that even my restroom wall is clad with my work of art. I have a cute little house which does not take much to maintain with a pretty modular kitchen which is my new laboratory and I love doing various culinary experiments there.

There is these two extremities in my life- A life of a ‘jet setting high flying executive’ and a housewife who is also a mother. But I loved both the roles, professional success can give you fame, money and satisfaction of material world but the second role gives you immense personal satisfaction which is spiritual. Both these ingredients make a complete recipe of happiness for an individual. Time and again I thank god for giving me a birth of a female; I can play diverse roles. No one’s stopping me from pursuing a great career and being a working mother or a housewife who loves to be at home and spend time with her offspring, beautifying her house and her life. I know I will get back to work soon but this break is an eye opener, made me a more confident human being , Spending my time with my baby and doing what I love to do makes me cheerful and potent.

This change almost at the very beginning of my life and career was definitely for good. However, “Egg of phoenix” will be obviously an exaggeration. But it’s like at the dawn you know how you want to spend the whole day so that at dusk you have no regrets. This change has made me realize how I want to spend my life and what I must do to achieve my goals both personal and professional. Learned in a better way to how I must handle my life so that I don’t have to call it a Pandemonium again.

                                                                                                                                                 Shaswati